To develop your confidence, focus on your competence.
Last month we looked at teasing out what is it you want to achieve and what you need to do to achieve that. That may involve learning a new skill, be that how to make a great presentation, how to successfully approach people you don’t know or how to have a conversation in Swahili etc., etc.
This will take practice. You are unlikely to get it spot on first time. You are learning. It is okay to make mistakes. Give yourself a break!
I love the analogy of a baby learning to walk. They don’t just sit down after their first attempts and decide “I’m not a walker. I tried it, it didn’t work.” Their persistence is more in line with thinking, “I’m not a walker, yet.”
When you review how something went (a speech, introducing yourself, trying to order a coffee), think not in terms of success or failure, but rather - what did I learn from it? What went well? What was I less happy with? What will I do next time? What will I not do? Can I get feedback from anyone to help me? What would a friend say to me about it?
Aim for good enough, not perfect. Look to people who do it well and learn from them. Look for training and/or opportunities to practice. Keep doing it until it is boring. Don’t compare yourself with others – that is a sure-fire losing game. Compare yourself with yourself – look at your own progress. You will naturally feel more confident as your competence grows.
If you would like time and support to think things through and to keep thinking productively, please do get in touch. I would love to hear from you. Feel free to call me on 07708 034395, to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I offer an initial no-obligation, no-cost discovery session.